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Dangerous boobies : breaking up with my time-bomb breasts
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After watching too many family members die of cancer, at age 28, public speaker and comedian Caitlin Brodnick was tested for the BRCA1 gene mutation and tested positive, indicating an 87% chance she'd likely be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime. She had a preventative double mastectomy, thereby becoming an everywoman's Angelina Jolie.
Dangerous Boobies: Breaking Up with My Time-Bomb Breasts goes in depth into her experience from testing to surgery and on to recovery. With a warm, funny, and approachable voice, Caitlin tells readers the full story, even sharing what it was like to go from a size 32G bra--giant, for a woman who is barely over five feet tall!--to a 32C. Engaging and open, she admits to having hated her breasts long before her surgery, and enjoying the process of "designing" her new breasts, from the shape of the breasts to the size and color of the nipples.
While Caitlin's primary narrative explores the BRCA gene and breast cancer, her story is also one about body acceptance and what it takes to be confident with and in charge of one's body. Her speaking engagements and comedy routines have shown that the wider topic of breasts, breast size, and personal identity is resonating with younger readers.
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Table of Contents
Foreword    Rachel Bloomp. ix
Introductionp. 1
Hooker with a Heartp. 7
Superserious Six-Year-Oldp. 15
Cancer Is an Emotionless Bitch Who Will Ruin Your Brunch Plansp. 23
There Are No Dumb Questions, Just Dumb Girls Who Refuse to Go to the Doctor to Ask Questionsp. 27
I Am Patient-Zero Patiencep. 37
Google's Land of Horrorsp. 41
The Great Frosty Glassp. 47
Big Boobs, Bigger Decisionsp. 55
Serious Suship. 61
How to Shock Your Therapistp. 65
Doctor, Do You Like Me?p. 71
Caity Chats Her Face Off-Like, a Lotp. 77
Dirty-Dancing WASPsp. 87
Masters of Medicationp. 97
If These Walls Could Talk, They'd Vomitp. 99
I Have Anxiety and So Can You!p. 103
Superchill Cold Feetp. 105
Did Allen Just Ditch Me for Margaritas?p. 111
Pretty Little Sewer Personp. 115
DIY Boobsp. 119
Superman's Supportp. 125
I Can't Shower. Now What?p. 135
Titty Titty Bang Bang: The Sex Partp. 139
Prepanicsp. 145
Let's Build a Better Boobp. 149
Boobies Go Globalp. 155
Patience Update: Still Zilchp. 159
Angles Lie!p. 165
Oprah's Nipplesp. 171
Forced Feelingsp. 177
Boobie Bluesp. 181
Survivor's Guiltp. 187
I've Made a Huge Little Mistakep. 191
Pregnant Planned Pressurep. 197
Oh, Shit, I Forgot About My Ovariesp. 201
Money Mattersp. 203
Caution, Caitlin: Boobies on Boardp. 207
Girl, I Got You
I'm an Open Book (Until You Hurt My Feelings)p. 215
Family Matters
Me as of Five Minutes Ago
Photo Reshoot
The Last of My Advice
Acknowledgmentsp. 237
Notesp. 241
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